Mom's weight, eating and body image

I have been thinking about this post for a while.  Partly inspired by my friend (you know who you are) and Phat Mummy (aka Maria who writes an awesome blog over at the Yummy Mummy Club about weight and mummydom).

If you know me, have met me, or saw me on the TTC platform - I am a skinny, slight, slender-ish person.  Always have been.  Always.  My confession: I have a digestive disorder, IBS-D, which is unreliable, embarrassing and the ball on my friggin' chain.

So when, someone says "I hate you -  you're so skinny" (hello mom!) I accept it (though - would you say this to someone on the other side of the scale?! "I hate you - you're so fat" no - you wouldn't because it is a faux-pas to talk about someone being heavy - however skinny girls - they are hate-worthy).

See the thing about IBS-D is that I don't get the nutrients of my food.  An exciting event, stress, certain foods...can all make me drop pounds.  I lost 4 lbs at an all-inclusive resort (and don't say "I wish I could do that" because I call liar liar pants on fire - you don't want this - you eat and nothing stays in - you can't go out into the world - you are in pain - you are embarrased - you have no control over your life).  I never know when or for how long an IBS crisis will strike.  So at that all-inclusive resort - I ate rice and chicken - for 7 days - and still the IBS thunderstorm descended. 

Through my teen years, I delt with my IBS by not eating until it was "safe" (read: I'll eat when I get home and there is a bathroom at the ready).  So I got the anorexic tag.  (Elaboration: I still don't eat when I go out - it is years and years of habit management - I don't need comments, advice or snorts about "that's how you stay thin" - no this is how I manage having a life and going out into the world - everyday - of my life).

In September 2007, I weighed 99 lbs (my prince had suffered a pulmonary embolism and the stress of it sent a brutal thunderstorm) - I looked horrible (so my mother-in-law kept telling me).  Weighing so little also makes one really friggin' tired - not good when you busy leading two little children through life.

I've been to a nutritionist, counsellors, doctors and naturopaths.  I have a prince who loves me so much that he points out the washrooms to me whenever we go out in the world.  I have family & friends who don't snort when I have a liquid lunch while they eat at a restaurant. 

I must say - there was a hiccup in my grand food management plan.  When my kids started saying "I'll eat when Mommy eats" when we went on a family field trip (we all know, by now, I'm not going to eat - not because I'm on a diet but because when I have an IBS thunderstorm it is sudden and raging - and that can't happen when I am the only caregiver on a family field trip - I have to have control over my body).  So, I eat a couple bites of a granola bar while I supervise the my kids eating a full and balanced lunch. (and before anyone gets rant-y on me: I eat full & balanced meals all the time - at home - in front of my kids - they know I get thunderstorms - we don't talk about #diets, #weight or #gettingfat.  We talk about #being active, #healthy food and #going out).

I am inspired by my friend and Phat Mummy because I connect on the other-side-of-the-scale to their weight, eating and body images.  I support anyone who makes the decided-effort to take off - or put on - weight in a healthy fashion.  In my little opinion, everyone has an imperfect body and we can chose to accept it, manage it or change it -- but I don't think anyone should be hated because of it. 

I'm trying to teach my kids that weight doesn't matter - it's how you feel in your own skin which counts.