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November 12, 2008

But it's important to ME

    Moi: "I bought tickets for us to go to the auction"
    Lui: "Am I supposed to go?
    Moi: (a bit hurt) "Well, I've gone to XYXY"
    Lui: (paying more attention to the cheese than the conversation) "...but I didn't ask you to go" (insert me quietly walking away here.
On the rare occasion, when I voice up wanting something -- I assume the importance of the intention is evident. I voiced it. Funnily, me quietly walking away stole the attention from the cheese much more than the conversation (in fairness - it was a good block of OKA). And we went to the auction. And it was fine.

I, like most Moms I know, think voicing up does mean intended importance. If I'm asking - it means - well - I AM ASKING. Where is the confusion?

I went to a day long writing conference a few weeks ago. "Who's going to babysit" asked Thing 1. "Papa" I replied. "ok, but who's going to babysit?" questioned Thing 2. I didn't even ask if Papa could take care of Things 1 and 2. I just sent a blackberry PIN - "You're taking care of Things 1 and 2 on this day - for the whole day". It was important to me. I made it happen.

Maybe, I just shouldn't ask. Shouldn't assume. I should just make it happen. Oh, and feel no regret. That's a big one. Feel no regret in doing something that is important to ME.

We should all do that.

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posted by Parent Club @ Wednesday, November 12, 2008   1 Comments

1 Comments:

At November 13, 2008 at 3:33 p.m. , Blogger Leah Mullen said...

When I was a younger mother 6 or so years ago, I used to always consider my husband's feelings whether or not he felt like doing X,Y or Z. Then I thought about it, I didn't exactly FEEL like going through labor twice etc. So 6 years later I have no qualms about asking for what I want and do not consider whether or not he *feels* like complying. Bravo to all the moms who've mastered the art of asking for and getting what they want!

 

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