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January 12, 2009

Kids manipulating or needing???


Did I ever share that Karate is a big sport in our house? My prince, is a 3rd degree sensei. Thing 1 is an advanced blue belt (which, in our dojo, is 4 belts away from black belt). We have gone to the Karate dojo - practically - every weekend for years and years.

I think it's a great sport for kids. It teaches self-defence, anti-bully-ing skills, concentration & focus, fun, physical engagement...all that good stuff.

Here's my dilemma; Thing 2 refuses - REFUSES - to go into a class. I am right on that fence...between manipulation and need...wondering which side to go to.

See, Thing 2 says "I'll go to Karate -- if YOU go with me". Um...but bigger sibling; Thing 1 (that advanced blue belted kid) is already in the class. Your father is teaching the class. There are two family members already there. (see why I'm getting the manipulation vibe? -- do you really need ME when most of our little family is already there? This is my prince's chance to parent/teach. This is an opportunity to cut the cord and do something on your own. I took you to swimming lessons, pre-school, field trips and more. Can't you do this on your own?!)

Thing 2 will hit a pad. Throw a punch. Learn a kata in the living room. But the one time we got Thing 2 into a class; it ended in tears. I quit! we heard.

Here is the needs side of that fence. Maybe Thing 2 does need me because I have been the portable soother for most of Thing 2s life. I make things calmer, safer, better (insert SNOW PLOW PARENT here).

What would you do? Support in going to class solo? Wait? Sign-up and go with the child?

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2 Comments:

At January 14, 2009 at 9:16 AM , Blogger Karen said...

Hi!

I would not go myself to the class unless I was truly interested in being there for me. If she is not intererested I would not force the issue. She may change her mind later or she may not, just because dad and big sis are into karate does not mean the whole family has to be (even if it makes the day run more smoothly)...maybe this can be time when dad and big sis get to do "their" thing together and mom and little sis get to do theirs, maybe you will find something else to do with her that is less of a battle and more of a fun time. I would not push it, not all people like the same things as much as others...you have to find what works best for each child and make them feel good about what they do well and what they like to do...not make them feel bad that they don't like to do something.

 
At January 14, 2009 at 12:25 PM , Blogger Parent Club said...

Good point. We tried a new approach. Taking Thing 2 without me being there. Worked a bit better.

I think we'll not push nor fight. "We're going to the dojo - if you would like to participate cool - if not - sit on the bench with me."

 

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