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April 15, 2009

Moms are no ghosts


There I am. A-ha! Not just Mom or a pseudonym or ghostwriter. ME (in all my frazzled glory!).

A few people saw the March 2009 Issue of ALIVE magazine and called/e-mailed/stopped me in the school playground to say they were surprised to see my picture in the pages. Amazing to thunk I'm a real life person I suppose.

The other night - I went out to meet some high school friends at a bar (BAR: a meeting place in which one may consume beverages and partake in interaction with other humans - remember?!!..hmmm - faded memories...).

My kids asked "who's going to watch us?!" I retorted "you know that guy who lives in our house - your papa? - HIM - he's going stay home" they responded with a "no... really...who's going to watch us?".

To the kids - I am Mom. The everpresent Mom. The fixer of dinner and supervisor of household. That's my identity. Right there.

The mother'hood becomes all-consuming. You hesitate to get a book because you don't have time to read. You twitter more than telephone because it's faster. You don't go to movies with girlfriends because the kids have a birthday party that day. My own identity? It doesn't live here anymore.

Like slow drips from a coffee filter...Mom stuff fills up the entire carafe. It's a gradual drip, drip, drip. There's no time (nor energy) for that book, that chat, that date. And I own it. My own fault. Our own faults. Moms put themselves last. Does anyone else, sometimes, feel like a ghost of themselves?

This is my little - call to action - moms - we are no ghosts. We need to polish up those identities and take them out on the town. No guilt. No excuses. I've put my picture out there (ugh...ok...me without my glasses...and no ponytail...and you can't see the yoga pants -- but it is still the best possible representation of me). Nonetheless, it's me. Onwards and upwards.

My night out was great. Distance makes the heart grow fonder (and so true...both my kids gave me great big hugs when they saw me at breakfast the morning after my night out. I think, gulp, there was the tiniest bit of appreciation in their eyes).

Confession time: Do you ever put yourself first?

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3 Comments:

At April 15, 2009 at 11:02 p.m. , Blogger Alice Phua said...

I have to confess that I don't put myself first anymore eversince giving birth to my baby boy. I no longer buy fun things for myself anymore. Even if I buy things for myself, they are all necessity items! Even if I want to have time for myself as in going for warehouse sales (I love warehouse sales!), I will only do it during the official working hours of the babysitter when I take leave from work (how many days of leave can you take after all!).

 
At April 16, 2009 at 4:01 p.m. , OpenID cabadov said...

I tried to have a nice bath one afternoon. It was a wonderful minute. But you're right. I always have plans to go out, do something else, but somehow they get canceled or postponed. Maybe I should go to one of those writing workshops :-)

 
At April 18, 2009 at 10:12 a.m. , Anonymous Mommy X said...

I try, really I do...but then they suck me back in like a Dyson vaccum with Root Cyclone technology. "Mom, Mom, Mom" the chorus is loud and constant...what's my real name anyway?

 

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