This Page

has been moved to new address

Moms are no ghosts

Sorry for inconvenience...

Redirection provided by Blogger to WordPress Migration Service
body { background:#123; margin:0; padding:20px 10px; text-align:center; font:x-small/1.5em "Trebuchet MS",Verdana,Arial,Sans-serif; color:#ccc; font-size/* */:/**/small; font-size: /**/small; } /* Page Structure ----------------------------------------------- */ /* The images which help create rounded corners depend on the following widths and measurements. If you want to change these measurements, the images will also need to change. */ @media all { #content { width:740px; margin:0 auto; text-align:left; } #main { width:485px; float:left; background:#eec url("http://www.blogblog.com/rounders3/corners_main_bot.gif") no-repeat left bottom; margin:15px 0 0; padding:0 0 10px; color:#333; font-size:97%; line-height:1.5em; } #main2 { float:left; width:100%; background:url("http://www.blogblog.com/rounders3/corners_main_top.gif") no-repeat left top; padding:10px 0 0; } #sidebar { width:240px; float:right; margin:15px 0 0; font-size:97%; line-height:1.5em; } } @media handheld { #content { width:90%; } #main { width:100%; float:none; background:#eec; } #main2 { float:none; width:100%; background:none; } #sidebar { width:100%; float:none; } } /* Links ----------------------------------------------- */ a:link { color:#9db; } a:visited { color:#798; } a:hover { color:#fff; } a img { border-width:0; } #main a:link { color:#347; } #main a:visited { color:#666; } #main a:hover { color:#68a } /* Blog Header ----------------------------------------------- */ @media all { #header { background:#357 url("http://www.blogblog.com/rounders3/corners_cap_bot.gif") no-repeat left bottom; margin:0 0 0; padding:0 0 8px; color:#fff; } #header div { background:url("http://www.blogblog.com/rounders3/corners_cap_top.gif") no-repeat left top; padding:8px 15px 0; } } @media handheld { #header { background:#357; } #header div { background:none; } } #blog-title { margin:0; padding:10px 30px 5px; font-size:200%; line-height:1.2em; } #blog-title a { text-decoration:none; color:#fff; } #description { margin:0; padding:5px 30px 10px; font-size:94%; line-height:1.5em; color:#abc; } /* Posts ----------------------------------------------- */ .date-header { margin:0 28px 0 43px; font-size:85%; line-height:2em; text-transform:uppercase; letter-spacing:.2em; color:#586; } .post { margin:.3em 0 25px; padding:0 13px; border:1px dotted #bb9; border-width:1px 0; } .post-title { margin:0; font-size:135%; line-height:1.5em; background:url("http://www.blogblog.com/rounders3/icon_arrow.gif") no-repeat 10px .5em; display:block; border:1px dotted #bb9; border-width:0 1px 1px; padding:2px 14px 2px 29px; color:#333; } #main a.title-link, .post-title strong { text-decoration:none; display:block; } #main a.title-link:hover { background-color:#fff; color:#000; } .post-body { border:1px dotted #bb9; border-width:0 1px 1px; border-bottom-color:#eec; padding:10px 14px 1px 29px; } html>body .post-body { border-bottom-width:0; } .post p { margin:0 0 .75em; } p.post-footer { background:#fff; margin:0; padding:2px 14px 2px 29px; border:1px dotted #bb9; border-bottom:1px solid #eee; font-size:100%; line-height:1.5em; color:#666; text-align:right; } html>body p.post-footer { border-bottom-color:transparent; } p.post-footer em { display:block; float:left; text-align:left; font-style:normal; } a.comment-link { /* IE5.0/Win doesn't apply padding to inline elements, so we hide these two declarations from it */ background/* */:/**/url("http://www.blogblog.com/rounders3/icon_comment.gif") no-repeat 0 45%; padding-left:14px; } html>body a.comment-link { /* Respecified, for IE5/Mac's benefit */ background:url("http://www.blogblog.com/rounders3/icon_comment.gif") no-repeat 0 45%; padding-left:14px; } .post img { margin:0 0 5px 0; padding:4px; border:1px solid #586; } blockquote { margin:.75em 0; border:1px dotted #596; border-width:1px 0; padding:5px 15px; } .post blockquote p { margin:.5em 0; } /* Comments ----------------------------------------------- */ #comments { margin:-25px 13px 0; border:1px dotted #6a7; border-width:0 1px 1px; padding:20px 0 15px 0; } #comments h4 { margin:0 0 10px; padding:0 14px 2px 29px; border-bottom:1px dotted #6a7; font-size:120%; line-height:1.4em; color:#333; } #comments-block { margin:0 15px 0 9px; } .comment-data { background:url("http://www.blogblog.com/rounders3/icon_comment.gif") no-repeat 2px .3em; margin:.5em 0; padding:0 0 0 20px; color:#666; } .comment-poster { font-weight:bold; } .comment-body { margin:0 0 1.25em; padding:0 0 0 20px; } .comment-body p { margin:0 0 .5em; } .comment-timestamp { margin:0 0 .5em; padding:0 0 .75em 20px; color:#fff; } .comment-timestamp a:link { color:#fff; } .deleted-comment { font-style:italic; color:gray; } /* Profile ----------------------------------------------- */ @media all { #profile-container { background:#586 url("http://www.blogblog.com/rounders3/corners_prof_bot.gif") no-repeat left bottom; margin:0 0 15px; padding:0 0 10px; color:#fff; } #profile-container h2 { background:url("http://www.blogblog.com/rounders3/corners_prof_top.gif") no-repeat left top; padding:10px 15px .2em; margin:0; border-width:0; font-size:115%; line-height:1.5em; color:#fff; } } @media handheld { #profile-container { background:#586; } #profile-container h2 { background:none; } } .profile-datablock { margin:0 15px .5em; border-top:1px dotted #7a8; padding-top:8px; } .profile-img {display:inline;} .profile-img img { float:left; margin:0 10px 5px 0; border:4px solid #bec; } .profile-data strong { display:block; } #profile-container p { margin:0 15px .5em; } #profile-container .profile-textblock { clear:left; } #profile-container a { color:#fff; } .profile-link a { background:url("http://www.blogblog.com/rounders3/icon_profile.gif") no-repeat 0 .1em; padding-left:15px; font-weight:bold; } ul.profile-datablock { list-style-type:none; } /* Sidebar Boxes ----------------------------------------------- */ @media all { .box { background:#234 url("http://www.blogblog.com/rounders3/corners_side_top.gif") no-repeat left top; margin:0 0 15px; padding:10px 0 0; color:#abc; } .box2 { background:url("http://www.blogblog.com/rounders3/corners_side_bot.gif") no-repeat left bottom; padding:0 13px 8px; } } @media handheld { .box { background:#234; } .box2 { background:none; } } .sidebar-title { margin:0; padding:0 0 .2em; border-bottom:1px dotted #456; font-size:115%; line-height:1.5em; color:#abc; } .box ul { margin:.5em 0 1.25em; padding:0 0px; list-style:none; } .box ul li { background:url("http://www.blogblog.com/rounders3/icon_arrow_sm.gif") no-repeat 2px .25em; margin:0; padding:0 0 3px 16px; margin-bottom:3px; border-bottom:1px dotted #345; line-height:1.4em; } .box p { margin:0 0 .6em; } /* Footer ----------------------------------------------- */ #footer { clear:both; margin:0; padding:15px 0 0; } @media all { #footer div { background:#357 url("http://www.blogblog.com/rounders3/corners_cap_top.gif") no-repeat left top; padding:8px 0 0; color:#fff; } #footer div div { background:url("http://www.blogblog.com/rounders3/corners_cap_bot.gif") no-repeat left bottom; padding:0 15px 8px; } } @media handheld { #footer div { background:#357; } #footer div div { background:none; } } #footer hr {display:none;} #footer p {margin:0;} #footer a {color:#fff;} /* Feeds ----------------------------------------------- */ #blogfeeds { } #postfeeds { padding:0 15px 0; }

April 15, 2009

Moms are no ghosts


There I am. A-ha! Not just Mom or a pseudonym or ghostwriter. ME (in all my frazzled glory!).

A few people saw the March 2009 Issue of ALIVE magazine and called/e-mailed/stopped me in the school playground to say they were surprised to see my picture in the pages. Amazing to thunk I'm a real life person I suppose.

The other night - I went out to meet some high school friends at a bar (BAR: a meeting place in which one may consume beverages and partake in interaction with other humans - remember?!!..hmmm - faded memories...).

My kids asked "who's going to watch us?!" I retorted "you know that guy who lives in our house - your papa? - HIM - he's going stay home" they responded with a "no... really...who's going to watch us?".

To the kids - I am Mom. The everpresent Mom. The fixer of dinner and supervisor of household. That's my identity. Right there.

The mother'hood becomes all-consuming. You hesitate to get a book because you don't have time to read. You twitter more than telephone because it's faster. You don't go to movies with girlfriends because the kids have a birthday party that day. My own identity? It doesn't live here anymore.

Like slow drips from a coffee filter...Mom stuff fills up the entire carafe. It's a gradual drip, drip, drip. There's no time (nor energy) for that book, that chat, that date. And I own it. My own fault. Our own faults. Moms put themselves last. Does anyone else, sometimes, feel like a ghost of themselves?

This is my little - call to action - moms - we are no ghosts. We need to polish up those identities and take them out on the town. No guilt. No excuses. I've put my picture out there (ugh...ok...me without my glasses...and no ponytail...and you can't see the yoga pants -- but it is still the best possible representation of me). Nonetheless, it's me. Onwards and upwards.

My night out was great. Distance makes the heart grow fonder (and so true...both my kids gave me great big hugs when they saw me at breakfast the morning after my night out. I think, gulp, there was the tiniest bit of appreciation in their eyes).

Confession time: Do you ever put yourself first?

Labels:

posted by Parent Club @ Wednesday, April 15, 2009   3 Comments

3 Comments:

At April 15, 2009 at 11:02 p.m. , Blogger Alice Phua said...

I have to confess that I don't put myself first anymore eversince giving birth to my baby boy. I no longer buy fun things for myself anymore. Even if I buy things for myself, they are all necessity items! Even if I want to have time for myself as in going for warehouse sales (I love warehouse sales!), I will only do it during the official working hours of the babysitter when I take leave from work (how many days of leave can you take after all!).

 
At April 16, 2009 at 4:01 p.m. , Anonymous Anonymous said...

I tried to have a nice bath one afternoon. It was a wonderful minute. But you're right. I always have plans to go out, do something else, but somehow they get canceled or postponed. Maybe I should go to one of those writing workshops :-)

 
At April 18, 2009 at 10:12 a.m. , Anonymous Mommy X said...

I try, really I do...but then they suck me back in like a Dyson vaccum with Root Cyclone technology. "Mom, Mom, Mom" the chorus is loud and constant...what's my real name anyway?

 

Post a Comment

Comments are a good thing...

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

<< Home