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September 03, 2009

School Nerves


"Will they like me?"

"Am I dressed cool enough?"

"Will I have a friend?"


School nerves are twittering...um...no...it's not the kids...it's me...about the other parents in the school yard. I swear it feels like gr. 9 all over again...the little fish in the big pond - the odd duck out - strange.

I don't "do" the school drop-off/pick-up (because really it drives me nuts) so I don't know a whole lot of school parents. Now, I do volunteer at school and go on one field trip/per child each year (field trips kill me - wrangling 4 excited children in a whole 'nother language is stressful)...so I know some parents.

However, on the first day of school - when I do take the kids I'm always nervous. Moms in high heels and blackberries, Moms with lulu pants, Moms who are too cool and connected with everyone, Moms who are "in the know" -- I feel so much the odd duck. (perhaps I have confidence issues - or am paranoid - confinoid).

Am I alone in this? Does anyone else feel confinoid about the parents at school?

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September 01, 2009

Looking Forward


Sorry to have not updated since Mourning a Baby (which I happen to write on my/our wedding anniversary). And no, I haven't been wallowing in that mourning (that post looked very wallowing when I looked at it this morning). I've been looking forward (which I think is healing - at least for me).

I/we have been spending time with family - and - as a family. Spent my wedding anniversary (the night I wrote that post) on a soccer field cheering on Thing 1's little soccer team.

Went to the cottage and took more photos of the kids than paparazzi take of Jon & Kate.

The night my prince brought home his new motorcycle I burst into tears bc he had something new and exciting and my new and exciting was gone (does that make sense?). Ah - there seem to be grey days and days of light on this road I'm running.

However, in general, I'm looking forward - making plans - feeling out projects - making my own new and exciting. I wonder if its avoidance or healing...

Thank you for all your comments and thoughts...a grey day may pop in here and there...but your support helps bring much needed light.

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