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April 17, 2009

life lessons

  • Be gracious. This is hard when you have kids - and people invite you for dinners - and you want to control the eating hours to fit your schedule. Let go of the control and be gracious.
  • Send out good karma. Volunteer at school because it is good karma. Many parents can't volunteer/go on field trips/work on the parent counsel - remember this. Repeat to self: volunteering at school is good karma not time & energy suckage.
  • Ask friends for advice. When you have a decision and are fence sitting - a good friend will happily kick your butt to the other side.
  • If you are invited to someone's house for dinner take any combination of these three things: white flowers, fruit tray, Rosé d'Anjou.
  • (I will regret this particular bullet point should my prince ever read it) Do not die an unlived life. Well, most importantly don't die right now...but don't die without having LIVED. Take a risk for adventure, growth and sheer experience. I think at the end of your days - you regret the things you haven't done more than the things you did do (that is unless the things you did do were really very bad)


  • April 15, 2009

    Moms are no ghosts

    There I am. A-ha! Not just Mom or a pseudonym or ghostwriter. ME (in all my frazzled glory!).

    A few people saw the March 2009 Issue of ALIVE magazine and called/e-mailed/stopped me in the school playground to say they were surprised to see my picture in the pages. Amazing to thunk I'm a real life person I suppose.

    The other night - I went out to meet some high school friends at a bar (BAR: a meeting place in which one may consume beverages and partake in interaction with other humans - remember?!!..hmmm - faded memories...).

    My kids asked "who's going to watch us?!" I retorted "you know that guy who lives in our house - your papa? - HIM - he's going stay home" they responded with a "no... really...who's going to watch us?".

    To the kids - I am Mom. The everpresent Mom. The fixer of dinner and supervisor of household. That's my identity. Right there.

    The mother'hood becomes all-consuming. You hesitate to get a book because you don't have time to read. You twitter more than telephone because it's faster. You don't go to movies with girlfriends because the kids have a birthday party that day. My own identity? It doesn't live here anymore.

    Like slow drips from a coffee filter...Mom stuff fills up the entire carafe. It's a gradual drip, drip, drip. There's no time (nor energy) for that book, that chat, that date. And I own it. My own fault. Our own faults. Moms put themselves last. Does anyone else, sometimes, feel like a ghost of themselves?

    This is my little - call to action - moms - we are no ghosts. We need to polish up those identities and take them out on the town. No guilt. No excuses. I've put my picture out there ( without my glasses...and no ponytail...and you can't see the yoga pants -- but it is still the best possible representation of me). Nonetheless, it's me. Onwards and upwards.

    My night out was great. Distance makes the heart grow fonder (and so true...both my kids gave me great big hugs when they saw me at breakfast the morning after my night out. I think, gulp, there was the tiniest bit of appreciation in their eyes).

    Confession time: Do you ever put yourself first?


    April 14, 2009

    Amber Alerts and Scary Stories

    This past weekend we drove through Woodstock. I remarked that there were a lot of radar traps and OPP on the road. When we crossed the border into the states - the U.S. customers officer asked us to open the back door to see the children. I thought - she was matching their faces to their passports - how thorough.

    When I saw the news last night - I realized - no they weren't just looking for speeders or routine border patrol - there is a little girl lost. An 8 year old girl, Victoria "Tori" Stafford, has been missing since Wednesday. I remember hearing about her last week, but it didn't register as I don't believe they called an AMBER ALERT.

    This is every parent's worse nightmare. Don't you agree? This morning I talked with Thing 1 & Thing 2 about awareness...
    • The only people who will pick them up from school is me, my prince or their grandparents. I wouldn't send anyone else. If someone else tells them I sent them to pick them up - they aren't to go.
    • Tell me our home phone number.
    • If you - ever - get lost in a store go to the cashier. (a kid used to be able to go to any grown-up but blog knows who is a creep and who is a nice guy these days). Nope - go to the cashier. The cashier definitely works for the store, might wear a uniform to make them stand out from strangers, and will certainly have a telephone nearby.
    • If anyone does take you (blog forbid) what do you do? Thing 1 said "make noise, scream". Yes, said I. You won't get into trouble for yelling.
    • If anyone does take you - try to escape to a store or restaurant. "Yes, but McDonald's doesn't have phones to call 911" said Thing 1. Every restaurant and store has a phone - you might not see it - but they have phones...ask the cashier.
    • Remember, Mommy and Papa will always look for you.
    In addition, I think it's good to consider Sharon's comment to the Emergency Plans post about kids being scared of firefighters. Police and firefighters can be intimidating in their uniforms - but kids should know they are go-to people for protection.

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    April 12, 2009